Sometimes i wonder... life has its ups and downs... but i always ask myself.. why do i seem to face more downs than ups ? I know there will always be someone out there who is worse off than me, and that my problems are insignificant as compared to others....... but i am getting tired.. realli tired....

Life can be really unpredictable.. even cruel @ times..... at one moment, i feel like i am on top of the World, but the next thing i know.. i come crashing back to the ground..

There are so many things i wanna do, and so many things that i wanna say... but yet, it can be so difficult.....

I always thought that for every obstacle i faced and overcome, i would be stronger for the next one...... in fact, this was my thinking all this years..... but now, after facing another new obstacle.. i suddenly feel very weak and vulnerable... guess the strength that i thought i had, was just a false front... in reality, i was getting more and more tired and weak........

People who know me, may think i am just another crappy guy who is happy-go-lucky... well maybe, but dats just part of me... there are many things people don't know abt me except my close friends.. and even things abt me that my close friends don't know, except some who have gone thru the same shit as me...

Sometimes, i feel that one of the greatest happiness in life is to have one true confidant.. someone whom we realli understand, share and confide in each other....even cry together... but too bad, i havnt found the one... Nonetheless, i am still glad i have 6 very good buddies whom i realli feel comfortable with... its just that we have not reached the level where we can realli share our problems together......


Now, talking abt my love life... i guess its gonna be empty for a long time...
As i mentioned b4, there is this gal who will always hold a special place in my heart; she was the 1st gal who caught my eye; the 1st gal who made my heart miss a beat and the 1st gal whom i realli liked.....

Soon after we left school, we lost contact ... and since dat day, i always hope that one fine day, i will be able to meet her again.... but days, months and years soon passed by with absolutely no news of her.... by then, i thought there was no way i could ever see her again, although.... the pinning never stopped...

Throughout this time, i have met other gals, and there was one whom i realli liked.. things went well initially, but, suddenly things came to a sudden standstill... den when i tot it was over, there was an unexpected turn of events, and things were looking rosy again... but again, it came to another standstill... and this time, i believe its realli over... nonetheless, i wish her all the best in everything she does, and that she will find the right man....

Now, talking abt the gal whom i lost contact.. 13 years had passed since i last saw her.. but now, i am glad to have finally found her and know that she is doing well... to be honest, i would be lying if i said i dun harbour any hopes.. cos deep in my heart, i realli wanted to get to know her better, and see if there was any possibility... but somehow, after so many things that happened to me, i knew that she deserved someone better, or at least i feel i dun stand a chance.. say its inferiority complex or whatever.. but i just feel that she would be happier with someone else......





Ok, guess its time to stop whinning and procrastinating and have a good sleep.... hopefully, tomorrow would be a better day............

Everyday, every hour and every other quiet moment.. i had something in mind that i wanted to blog about.. but its either i couldnt think of the right words to express my thoughts, or i simply.... couldnt type it out... guess sometimes it does take some courage to really blog abt wat i realli feel and wat i realli wanna let out...

As i mentioned b4 in my previous posts... i was on cloud nine (or gratified ?) when i knew tat i still stood a chance with her (or so i tot ?) But ever since the "ECP" incident, everything suddenly seemed to come to a standstill again..... she dint reply to my sms as often or she doesn't seem to bother @ all.... and suddenly... this became the norm and here i am.. back to square one..

Sometimes i really wonder if she just can't be bothered.. or is it because i just ain't worth a thought in her mind.... nonetheless, watever conclusion i thought of were simply.. negative ones.... To be honest, i do believe that i have done my part.. and since she doesn't reciprocate or don't bother @ all... i might as well give up again... this time for good... because if she can be so indifferent and insensitive towards me, it goes to show that maybe.. we just ain't meant to be......

But in all truth... she is truly a nice and special gal and is someone whom i will always treasure as a friend and someone who deserves a good man who will love and care for her always.....


But i do know in my heart... that i will never be that man....


On a lighter note... recently i finished watching a jap drama called "Train Man" aka "Densha Otoko" which, although is based on a true story, is a show which i find it too good to be true... nonetheless, i really find the story very touching.. well at least it gives the impression that miracles do happen... and honestly speaking... this show kinda gives me new found courage again......which is the courage to start anew, and the belief that there are gals who are really like "Hermes" (Ito Misaki's character in Train Man)


Lastly, i am really proud to say that i have finally met her again ... the person whom i have been hoping to see again after more than 14 years... the gal whom i first liked.. and the gal whom i have always thought about... yes.. i have finally met up with her!! YES YES YES!!!!

Although it was the 2nd meeting i had with her... i would always remember 31st March 2006 as one of the best days of my life... simply because what i felt that day was something i had seriously not felt for the longest time i can remember (of cos i had a similar feeling when i met her for the 1st time, but this time, the feeling was much more intense and .. wat can i say... simply unbelieveable.. )

Anyway, i am so glad to know that she is doing well and that she is safe and healthy.... now i just hope that she will achieve all her goals... and that one day, will also find the man of her life.........



P.S : Densha Otoko is not only a good J-drama, it also has a few really nice soundtracks..... so if anyone likes nice smoothing music.. msn me ok!



Song of the Day: "Benoist" by Face 2 Fake

Isn't it ironic, that a cartoon can actually result in widespread rioting, protests and threats of death ?

It seems that barely had we enjoyed some World peace, when shouts of "killing", " jihad" and "beheading" started echoing everywhere in some Muslim countries...

So how did all the unrest started (again)?

Well, to cut the story short, it all started when 12 Danish cartoonists published some cartoons of the prophet Muhammad in September in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten. They were drawn the way they see the Prophet. This has led to unrest around the world, particularly in Islamic countries, as the cartoons are deemed to be culturally insensitive, insulting, and blasphemous.

Wikipedia - Muhammad Cartoons

Protests against Denmark have increased in intensity in recent days after other newspapers -- mainly in Europe -- reprinted the caricatures.

Now an Indian Minister has added fuel to the controversy, by offering cash rewards for the beheading of the cartoonists.

Indian Minister offers cash reward for beheading

Personally, i have seen the cartoons myself, and what can i say.... as a free-thinker myself and no obligations whatsoever, i really do feel that these cartoons are harmless... simply becos:

1. I do believe these cartoons are drawn for the comic effect, rather than aim to insult and demean another religion.

2. There is no propaganda behind it, as the cartoonists were simply asked to draw the prophet as they see him.

3. It was purely an exercise of freedom of speech, with no intent to discriminate or degrade.

Note: A certain Mr Bush has so many cartoons dedicated to himself, which were drawn by his own citizens. Yet in general people view them in amusement, rather than believe in them. I mean, is Mr Bush deemed as stupid just because there was an infamous photograph of him looking through a binoculars with the cover still on ? ( i know some people want to believe that he is, but er.. think rationally ok ?)

Nonetheless, the extremists don't see the funny side of things, and deem it necessary to burn the embassies concerned, and also boycott their products. Now the unrest has escalated to death threats being issued. But is this really the best alternative to a solution ?

I agree with what another blogger said, as he mentioned,

"The inflamed reaction of the Arab world to a Danish cartoon depicting the prophet Muhammed was itself like a cartoon. This cartoon is usually labeled "the Arab street" and consists of crazed young males acting like hooligans while behind the scenes cynical regimes stand idle and gain publicity value from the violence. To many Americans, this cartoon is the real face of Islam, just as to many Muslims photographs from Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib are the real America.

It would be sad if cartoons turn out to decide the course of history. "

Intent Blog

To all Muslims out there, to be honest it's easy for non-muslims to have the wrong idea of Islam, as the 911 incident, the Bali bombings, many terrorist attacks and beheadings in Iraq were committed by extremists who were Muslims.... thus people tend to believe that in general, Muslim people are violent and unreasonable.. Of course, it doesn't help when there are mis-interpretations of the Quran as well.. Thus if you think from this angle, you really can't blame the cartoonists, as this IS the way they see the Prophet and Islam as a whole.

Now if you react to this situation in a negative way, do you think it will improve the impression that those people have of your religion ? Do you think it makes things for the the better ? Nope, cos @ most the whole thing will just subside.. but after a while erupt again, just like a cycle...

Yes, from some angles, the cartoons are deemed inappropriate and insensitive but they really aren't meant to offend another religion whatsoever. Nonetheless, it's obvious that everyone has the right to voice out their opinions or even protest.. but please.. make it a peaceful one at least........ i mean,

Even if it's wrong to ever draw those cartoons, it's definitely NEVER right to issue death threats or use violence as a solution.

I honestly believe that Islam is a peaceful and great religion.. But unfortunately there are some mis-givings about this religion that gives rise to opportunities for terrorists like Al-Qaeda to take advantage of, resulting in even more mis-givings.

But i believe that with the right communication channels, with ingredients like understanding and the love for peace put together, we can ultimately achieve a common understanding and respect for one another. Obviously it won't be easy, but as long as each and everyone of us just give it a try, it can.. and will be done.........

Win people over by your Virtues, not by Force

Again its been sometime since i last updated my blog... well, guess its more due to my work and time-constraining studies rather than my laziness u know.. lol ....... anyway, guess there wasn't much to blog about these recent times except the fact that:

1. damn, my exams are next week, and i still got a major assignment that i need to hand in by then.. sian

2. Xmas this year was a very special and meaningful one, as the gang and i went to Bert's new home to celebrate not only xmas, but also his Birthday.. yes, xmas day was also the day he was born... Besides, this was the 1st time there wasn't any grown-ups around to monitor our behaviour.... just the few of us ...so dat meant we could kao peh kao bu like nobody's business.... hahaha, damn shiok man...

To view some of the photos, feel free to go to http://www.ckspective.blogspot.com/ But too bad Uncle CK dint go for the KTV session, if not we can make full use of his camera... lol

3. Oh yeah, another special occasion for me was the fact that i got two new younger brothers!! haha, at least from now till the end of this year, 2 men will officially follow my surname: Ong Kin Sun (previously known as Chan Kin Sun), and Ong Kang Meng (previously known as Goh Kang Meng) hahaha, cant believe that my long-cherished dream of having a brother is actually fulfilled... somemore @ one short there are 2!! again its damn bloody shiok.......

4. Anyway, this year has been a rather average year for me.... well, at least no major mishaps has happened to me or my close friends....... phew....... and i was so glad i got to witness the day 2 of my good friends got hitched ... which i hope will last happily... forever....

5. My love life ? well, guess i am still as clueless as ever..... to be honest... initially i though it was really over btw us... but i guess things started looking a little better... at least the hopes are still there... and i realli hope that come the new year... we will get to know each other better and hopefully things will progress from there........ nonetheless... the most important thing is that she finds the right person.. and even if .... even if we are not meant to be..... i still hope that she will stay happy.. and that whoever she chooses eventually, will always love and care for her....

6. Lastly..... since 2006 is just round the corner, i think i should really think about wat i realli want... or rather, wat is my New Year resolution.......... hmmm... for a start:

• I aim to be a quitter.. which is to quit smoking!! haha, guess its not only my aim, but its also due to intense peer pressure from the gang!!! lol....
• I must also realli study hard... cos i guess, its not only for a better career, but also for a better future...........
• And lastly.. just hope that i can find a job that i will really love and cherish... a job that at least makes me feel that i still have a life!

Guess dats abt it.......... hopefully i can accomplish these things before i even start to think of other aims..........

Anyway, i wish everyone here, a Merry Xmas and a most fulfilling New Year ahead!! cheers!

Quote: Things happen for a reason.. and be it sad or happy ones.. it's up to you how you can make them better.......... Why be sad, when you can be happy ?

My Song of 2005: I'll Be There (The Escape Club)

4th December 2005

Its official : Our 7th and youngest brother, Bertschin is now officially married!!!

Months of preparation and stress had passed ever since Bert first told us of his plans to leave the monastery to get married... and now, just like dat..


He is no longer an eligible bachelor but a dutiful husband to a beautiful wife.......


Come to think of it, time flies really fast....... i still remember how the 7 of us first knew each other back in Sec 1..... We always played soccer, cha teh, block-catching, look @ chio bu and hang out together with no worries, no responsibilities watsoever ... we were so young den......... years later, all of us graduated from sec sch, and we went on to different polys and JCs, followed on by 2 years plus of NS lives, after which we embarked on the start of our Uni or wrkin lives..... and all this while, although we had different paths and routes, we still stuck together, played together and messed ard in our usual gang.... of cos, in between, we also had our fair share of quarrels, arguments and other differences, but these oni deepened our understanding of each other and made our friendship stronger than ever before.....


Now dat one of us has a totally new path and mission in life, the rest of us brothers here sincerely wish the new couple, all the BESTEST & HAPPINESS in watever they do.....


Stay Happy..........


Oh yeah, CK has updated his blog with the pics tat were taken yesterday, so feel free to pop in and take a look!

http://www.ckspective.blogspot.com/



Quote 1 of the Day : It can take just a few minutes to fall in love.. but it takes an eternity to truly understand, care and live with each other.......

Quote 2 of the Day : We started out as 7 very available and eligible bachelors.. and now dat one has been snatched... who's next ??? :P


Song of the Day : Everything by Misia

Can anyone believe this ?!?!?! There is actually an R-rated version of my all-time fav drama series !!!!!!!!! Wat the F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i realli cant believe it........... and to think that such an innocent and good show can be turned into such a low grade porno show............



Damn, i must watch it in order to prove that i am rite... dat this is a lousy show!!!! lol























All discredits to Ah Hup for showing me this link, which was found in Yahoo Auctions....... damn!

This morning i was wrkin as per normal.... until i came across one particular piece of news. A piece of news that i bet almost the whole of Spore has no inkling to. Or rather, a piece of news that does not seem to warrant any attention watsoever. This was a piece of news regarding one Australian, who was sentenced to death by hanging late last year.


And his name ?


Nguyen Tuong Van (an Australian with Vietnamese origins)


And wat was his crime that warrants the death sentence ?

Drug-trafficking


Remember this piece of news ? Or ever heard of this news before ? Well, i dint, not until this morning....... and that's the power of the MEDIA to you.


U only know wat they want you to know.. and u read wat they want to write, nothing more, nothing less.. cos they decide wats important, and wats not......... (but of cos, the Govt can also be heavily involved in such matters...politics lah.. blah blah blah... so oh well...)


But wat realli is heart-wrenching is that sometimes, it seems that less important issues get more attention than they realli shld, like all the charity shows that seem neverending, and all the other minor issues that seem to make all the headlines today.... and some classic examples ?

We all know abt the infamous Michael Fay issue, the American who was sentenced to.....

Caning (and for wat ? vandalism ?)

and how some Americans heavily criticised Spore for being so harsh and how the ex US president Mr Bill Clinton pleaded for leniency and was amazingly rejected by our Govt.......... (and this happened back in '94, but becos of the power of the Media and how politics was actualli involved, this piece of news remained deeply etched in my little mind..)

And we also know all abt the on-going case of the infamous ex-SIA gal who had an affair with a garang guni man (i know a little gal was killed.. but dont anyone feel that this case got more attention than it realli shld, just BECAUSE it involved a most unbelievable affair ?)

I am sure there are many more classic examples, but as i hardly read the newspapers myself, i will stop at now..


Nonetheless, my point is veri simple............

Does drug-trafficking realli warrant such a harsh punishment ? Yes, i agree that our laws shld be strong and strict, and Yes, we shld punish all wrong-doers... but is this realli necessary ? This guy here (or shld i say young man ?) was a first-time offender... and even though he is absolutely wrong and stupid to traffic drugs, does it realli warrant death ? Doesn't he deserve a 2nd chance ? Can't he even have the chance to repent ?

To me, a rapist deserves death much more than a drug-trafficker, and if even a beast can repent behind bars and later get out as a free man, why cant a man who was forced by circumstances ?

Many people sympathise with his predicament, and if the common people can forgive him and even write in to the Spore Govt seeking for leniency, surely its time our laws seek a 2nd opinion ?

And lets face it, by executing this man here DOESNT solve the root of the problem...

1. Will the real mastermind be punished ? No.

2. Will the mastermind get away scot-free ? HELL YES!

3. Will dat stop other naive people whom, tempted by greed and greed ONLY, from attempting to traffic drugs ? Obviously NO, cos the masterminds are still out there seeking for new scapegoats

Thought for Food : When Iraq invaded Kuwait back in the late nineties, whom do we blame ? The Iraqi Army who do the actual killing ? or do we blame Saddam Hussein ? Think abt it..

And all this while this 25yr old man is still squatting in Changi Prison.... waiting ever since he was caught in Dec 2002 ... till the day his time is finally up............. which will be any Friday morning soon...


For more details, below is one good link that i found...

http://singabloodypore.blogspot.com/2005/02/remember-nguyen-tuong-van.html







P.S : Er, if there are any law agencies reading this.. actualli i am 100% pro Sporean and loyal to the country... thus these are just my own views with no intention to harm or discriminate. They are written with full respect for the laws of the Govt and hopefully they are acceptable for public view.. Yes / No ??? if not, pls just warn me.... dun sue me pls....

I DONT WANNA GET CANED!!!!!

Latest news : Its been confirmed......... Nguyen Tuong Van will be hang.... on Dec 2nd... God Bless him.........